Beginning the End

     I haven’t blogged at all this summer. I had intended to record my thoughts during this last summer but I discovered that I was mentally exhausted. And physically busy. So it just never happened. But I want to pick this up again during my last 25 days of ministry in the land of Luz.

     While I have been fully aware that this is my last summer, it has not really impacted me deeply until this last Sunday evening. Almost every Sunday night during the summer I give a message to the staff. As soon as Andrew started leading the first song, I realized, “This is it. The last Sunday night message. Will I ever find another place where worship is this pure and free?” And I started crying. You must understand that I am not a cry-er. It takes quite a bit to cause tears to flow so when I do cry, it means something deep is goin’ on and I better let it happen. So I did. And every song we sang seemed to remind me to trust in God’s loving care, which only made me cry some more. So by the time I got up to speak, I was rather emotional. I chucked what I had planned to say and just went with my heart.

     The week went well. The campers had a great time, the staff was awesome, and the weather was cooler than it has been in quite awhile. There was a lot of laughter. Danae was in a giant box. And I finally learned how to knit. I was able to get away a couple of times to spend time with family. I figured the Sunday-cry had served me well.

Then there was Thursday campfire in Pine Cove.

     Once again, as soon as the singing started, my tear ducts went into production. I really have loved worshipping with kids, especially the youngest ones. They are so uninhibited and free and it is a privilege to be a part of their worship. I am going to miss that a whole bunch. And then the pastor stood and talked about Jesus and the love of God. He had everyone bow their heads and close their eyes and gave an invitation to invite Jesus into their lives. This prayer time also caused me to cry, for it was in Pine Cove that I gave my life to Christ when I was nine years old. I thought of all the people whose lives were changed by that decision in that very place…and I just wept.

     I do not yet know what God has for me after Wednesday, August 31, 2011. But I am confident in my call to pastoral ministry. I am confident that it is indeed time for me to leave camp and that I have faithfully completed this part of my faith journey. I am even more confident in God’s loving care; for me and my family, and for Camp Luz and those who remain and will yet come.

So, I begin the end of this part of my journey. I’ll probably cry some more.